Thursday, April 05, 2007

Today is a day I just need to write.

I've been thinking about one thing quite a bit. It's as if the only thing I needed was an answer, but we all must know by now that it isn't true. I have an answer and that isn't enough.

Answers are never enough. My answer is that I will be going to Maui and honestly I enjoyed the seeking my Father's voice for the answer more than I'm enjoying the answer right now. I imagine that if you'd asked me at the time I might not have said so because some of it was painful to go through, but the moments of joy carried me on.

So, having spent myself emotionally I need to do something to fill my "joy tank" as my friend, Todd, likes to call it.

What I am realizing is that my joy tank is filled so much faster when something is coming out of me than when something is going in. Whether it be a doodle on a scrap of paper that turns into a beautiful artistic idea (I am so fascinated sometimes by the way the thick and thin of a pen stroke can dance in such tension) snapping a good photograph, holding a good conversation or jotting one of these notes.

I can tell you about projects that I dreamed up in my head to do artistically like doing a photo series of myself just to get past my self-consciousness or a series of designs around the theme of ecological stewardship. I even have a series planned that could very well turn into my friends album cover.

But I haven't done any of them yet.

Today I need to write.

This morning in our men's group at church we talked about excellence. At work I find that it's been a while since I've brought excellence here. After a while the short nights and office politics drain that out of you. Because God knows how to get me to learn something He had me be the one to talk about it and I ended up meditating on the lives of Abraham, Jacob, Joseph and David. All of them in some way were set apart for how they gave blessings to those who employed them and how all of their employers eventually noticed "Hey. I'm being blessed by God because of this guy."

I've been thinking about that and trying to press through. Trying to give more excellence to my employer. But it finally occurred to me that in order for me to be creative for someone else I have to take a moment and be creative just because.

So I wrote.

posted by Scott # 4:30 PM

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